Our presentation ends. We take a deep breath and utter – somewhat reluctantly – those dreaded words: “Any questions?” We wait, praying for five seconds of silence so we can quickly declare: “Thank you for coming!” and we’re off the stage, home free. No apparent concerns. No apparent confusion. No challenging questions….And no chance to make fools of ourselves by not knowing the answers! Perfect!

I think not. Consider this: if we don’t get any questions, is it possible our listeners were bored? Confused? Intimidated? Dissatisfied? Disenchanted? Or was it a simple case of needing just a little more time to formulate an intelligent question and get up the nerve to raise a hand? Without a little patience and a simple technique I call “priming the pump,” we’ll never know. We can chalk it up as another opportunity lost.

I have a suggestion. Instead of approaching Q&A with fear and loathing, what if we choose to see it as a genuine opportunity? – an opportunity to find out EXACTLY what is on our listeners’ minds, an opportunity to strengthen our credibility, an opportunity to reinforce our key objectives, an opportunity to truly connect and gain additional insight, an opportunity to SHINE!

When approached with such an attitude, Q&A is filled with potential for us to excel as communicators, as well as lay the groundwork for collaboration and productive partnerships. The likelihood of making a meaningful connection with a variety of people is increased dramatically. A two-way flow of ideas and concerns stands a much better chance of creating new working relationships that work. A lively Q&A can actually result in achieving results impossible to realize during a formal presentation.

How can we create such a scenario? Pay attention to three key areas: listening intently, pausing to gain control, and seeking clarification.

Listening is simple. Just stop talking and bingo – we’re the world’s greatest listeners. Except we’re not the world’s greatest listeners, are we? For one thing, as soon as someone starts asking a question, we find ourselves formulating our response. (Do you suppose it’s some sort of defense mechanism?) Sometimes we don’t even wait for someone to finish asking the question before we blurt out that not-so-well-thought-out answer. Now that has got to score some points with the questioner!

For another, we don’t appear to be paying attention. We don’t face the person who’s engaging us. We don’t look at the person. Our arms may be crossed so as to appear closed off. We glance at our notes or our watch or around the room (Maybe we’re searching for an escape route!) The questioner begins to feel like he is imposing on our time or that his concern is not valid or relevant enough to warrant a well-thought-out response.

What I’m saying here is that we need to listen more intently AND act like we are. Remain neutral in our judgment of the question or the questioner. Stay focused on the questioner through a steady gaze – our eyes meeting his. Relax the face and open up the body – especially the arms. Welcome the listener’s concerns by smiling warmly.

When the question is asked, pause. Pause to hear it all. Pause to give the person a chance to expand further. Pause to let it sink in. Pause to rephrase in your mind what you just heard. Pause to consider whether or not to seek clarification or some sort of restatement. Pause to formulate your response and feel like you’re in control of your reaction. And most importantly, pause so the listener feels heard…fully.

Finally, we need to see the power in seeking clarification so we understand completely where the listener is coming from. Phrases like: “Let me see if I understand what you’re saying…” “Do you mean to say…” “Could you rephrase the question?” “I get the impression that…” “If I heard you correctly,…” “Is there anything else I need to be aware of before I respond?” Get the idea?

There are a couple of logistical issues, warnings, and do’s and don’ts to address.

First of all, make sure everyone in the audience hears every question. Don’t turn Q&A into an intimate one-on-one. That may require an additional microphone or the old tried-and-true method of repeating the question.

Consider breaking up Q&A with a call for questions periodically throughout the presentation. Obviously this works well when dealing with a variety of topics and/or the presentation is rather lengthy. Some speakers who are building up to a complete explanation may only allow for questions of clarification during the presentation. Questions that challenge the point of view held by the speaker are saved for the end.

What about questions you can’t answer? Rule #1: Always tell the truth. Never fake an answer. Your credibility will be shattered when you get caught by someone in the audience more familiar with the issue than you (and there always is). So what about those situations where you should know the answer? See Rule #1. Helpful hint: When you don’t know the answer, promise to get back with the person after researching the issue…and do it. Helpful hint #2: Tap into the wisdom in the room. If you have never encountered a particular problem, for example, maybe someone in the audience has and would be willing to share how she handled it.

What about “difficult” individuals in the audience? Before making any recommendations, note that audience members are continuously voting. When an obnoxious person attempts to “get your goat,” the vote is with you. If you try to get even by any attempt to embarrass or belittle, you lose the audience’s vote as well as their respect, no matter how justified you feel your actions are. My guiding principle is that I represent the best interests of the whole audience. I need to be sensitive to their expectations and needs which includes the published agenda. If someone is interfering with the audience’s ability to get what I came to give, I need to do something about it. It may simply amount to agreeing to go “off-line” with the person causing the disturbance. In extreme situations, I would suggest asking the audience to vote. Do they want to adjust the agenda to accommodate this individual’s issue or call for a special meeting some time in the future? How do they want to handle it? Just don’t get into a tug-o-war. Handle things quickly, thoroughly, and fairly keeping your image as and open and sincere speaker intact.

Despite the potential pitfalls and unknowns of Q&A sessions, they are still important. Learn how to approach and control them and they will serve you well.