What constitutes a good question?  Do you know how to ask such a question?  What does knowing how to ask a good question do for you?

An employee, volunteer, family member, or potential customer likes to be asked a question.  It’s an indication of genuine interest.  A good question says to the recipient:  “You matter.”  A good question leads to better understanding which leads to greater trust which leads to greater cooperation.

I don’t hear very many good questions.  On top of that, there’s often no real interest in my answer.  The person doing the asking simply wants to make a point.  He has an opinion and is manipulating the conversation so he can express it.  Politicians have turned this into an art form.

Let’s assume you have a good question and you’re genuinely interested in the answer.  The challenge is to ask the question so as to demonstrate that level of interest.  Right away I can think of three choices that would help do that.

The first is patience.  A good question need not be put into competition with the issue or point currently being discussed.  Wait until some sort of resolution has been achieved.  As the dust settles, make it known that you have a question.  If someone else jumps in before you, take a breath, stay engaged, and practice a little more patience.

A second choice is attitude.  Don’t have one when asking a question.  Stay neutral to insure a more open – therefore useful – response.

And speaking of open, when you ask your question, keep the door “open” long enough to allow the person to fully answer the question.  Don’t slam the door with a comment the moment you think she’s finished.  Pause for a second.  Stay connected with your eyes and nod slightly.  These are all cues that you got it.

Not only was that person allowed to make a meaningful contribution, she is going to feel encouraged to continue participating.  Now you’ve got something going that matters.  I think the word is dialogue.  It may feel a little strange or new or unusual.  But you’ll get used to it.